In search of the secret of happy and successful couples

According to a current article published by the federal ministry one marriage in three is divorced at present. Thus, the following question arises more than ever: What is the secret of a well working partnership? Of course, everybody knows the advice they get overwhelmed with by friends, TV and journals about directness, honesty, acceptance, mutual respect and faithfulness. However, even if you internalize those 5 virtues there is still enough space for the devil in detail.


100 years ago, the recipe for success of marriages had nothing to do with those virtues above mentioned. People didn't separate at all because this simply wasn't conform to society at that time, they had to work together as a team to be able to survive and to cater for their family. Thereby, too often love and passion got lost and loving marriages turned into partnerships of conveniences. Even if the concept of that time cannot be compared with today's time, due to the fact that people, mainly women, simply have more personal freedom and development potentalities, however, both times have in common that sometimes relationships as well as marriages turn into partnerships of conveniences. On the surface they work without any problem, however, if this truly is a companionship satisfying for both partners remains finally undecided.

Which virtues and habits may lead to permanent survival and success in a relationship and whether they are compatible with love (should love remain) won't turn out before one has tried it out. And there are many possibilities. If a relationship is getting boring, when sex is getting unvaried and when there is nothing more but discussions about children, housekeeping and wheather, it's about time to think about this whole situation. But, what does stimulate love, desire and passion? It might be a relationship counselling or the mutual visit of a swinger club, a new common hobby or you purchase something together in a sexshop. It might be also a clarifying, open conversation about particular needs and wishes: or love, desire and passion is not even the main target but simply staying together... this list is neverending!


What is satisfying and what is not and what makes a partnership satisfying and successful - indeed, this can be found out and co-ordinated only by those people involved. While faithfullness is top priority in one happy marriage, in another one it is daily routine to forgive your partner infidelities or even to allow a second relationship. One couple might need openness and honesty, for other couples it is exactly the little secrets to maintain their relationship. Thus, in modern times there are all thinkable varities of couple constellations, from older persons with younger partners to homosexual, from monogamous to polygamous, from two-part or threesome relationships right up to open relationships and so on. Where faithfullness is streched to it's limit and where love begins and stopps principally results from the basic attitude of the two (or three) persons who come together in a solid connection.