Seitensprung und Fremdgehen

Being in love - precious gift or fading passion?

The common prototype in our society of "true love" is mostly based on our knowledge of romantic movies or love novels. Two people fall in love, go together through thick and thin, are always honest to each other, are faithful, never long for someone else and live inseparably and happy until the end of their lifes. Viewing reality mostly shows us a complete different scenario - be it the reality of your own, of your parents or of friends. What excatly is this legendary and misterious "true love"? Does it even exist or is it in fact only a result of romantic fantasies and dreams?

All to easily and quickly we tell another person "I love you". Considering those various relationships which fail immediately after having begun we seemingly deal with this promise too careless and wasteful. At one moment we are feeling it truly, at the other moment we suddenly realize that we might be wrong. Indeed, there is no rule of thumb saying you are truly in love or how long you should wait until you confess your love to another person. However, perhaps we could try harder to listen to our feelings before we are going to officiously over-interpret our emotions.

This love situation is similar to values and principles which apply in relationships and marriages. It might even happen to the most successful couples - who state to be in love and happy - that values like faithfulness, moral, honesty and trust change and after a while don't mean the same as at the beginning of this relationship anymore. Suddenly, you are rather willing to keep things from your partner, to lie to him or even to cheat on him although you are sure to love only him and no other person. Also, it might be the case that you suddenly think about having an open relationship and all of a sudden the togetherness - once so precious - begins to totter.

According to large-scaled surveys the main purpose for having open relationships and secret affairs isn't the missing infatuation but sexual dissatisfaction in your own relationship. Thus, especially in long-term relationships love and respect between both parties remain indeed, nevertheless usualness and boredom slowly creep into them. Apart from the sexual point of view, it is mostly the deficiencies the cheater is attempting to compensate by means of an affair.

The essential thing is openness and honesty as well as avoiding alienation. There is always a way to lighten the fire of love again. However, it costs quite an effort to honestly talk with your partner about your own needs and desires. The fear of being refused keeps many people from telling their partner what they miss in their current relationship. However, can this actually still be regarded as love when you have reached such a point? Or is it exactly the fact of getting over difficult times which shows that it is real love?

What does "being in love" mean to you?


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